Union Hotel, Waymouth St Adelaide 8th December 2009 - PASS!

That is not me btw, but it was taken at the Union (the Onion as us locals like to call it).

I've had good food at the Union previously, so it wasn't with trepidation that I sat down to eat there. It was more an expectation, but that's a pressure that they have to carry, and tonight they carried it well.

The schnitty looked very presentable, which automatically brings a smile to my face. To see a schnitzel without those tell-tale singes on the outer edges, you gotta know I was happy.

The chips were crisp and thick, and the salad was fresh. The schnitzel itself wasn't huge, but it was enough. Given how it tasted, I probably would have forgiven any size. It tasted great.

The chicken was thick and succulent, not at all dry. The sauce was tasty and flavoursome, but not over-powering, and they resisted the urge to go all out with the 'erbs and spices.

It's hard to say much about a good schnitty other than go and try it for yourself. It's much easier to slag off the dodgy schnitzels. Thankfully for my taste-buds, there was nothing here to slag off. Two cheers for the Union!

Alma Tavern, Norwood 19th November 2009 - PASS!

I had been despairing for months. When I embarked on this journey to discover the schnitzellian delights of our fair city, I was full of hope and promise and the excitement that comes before eating an awesome schnitzel parmigiana.

Alas, my optimism was shortlived. As the weeks grew into months, the parmi's came and went, underwhelming me at every turn. And it did not matter where I went, even heading up north, because the disappointment knew no geographical boundaries.

So, when I popped into the Alma Tavern last week with a few bro's for a quick bite, little did I know I was going to have my faith in our fair city restored.

I ordered the Alma schnitty, which I was told was fabled in these parts (I'd heard that before). When it came out, I could see that it was one of the best looking schnitty's I had seen in a while. It wasn't overcooked for a start, no singe marks. The breast itself was a great size, very thick and took up most of the plate. The sauce was plentiful and tasty, and it topped a very large piece of delicious looking ham.

But how did it taste? As good as it looked thankfully! Great texture, the thing went down almost as good as the beer I had with it. I don't need to be scientific with this, it was just damn good. I won't even mention the chips (they were good too).

As far as rankings go, this is right up there with the Mawson Lakes schnitty, possibly even higher ranked. Whatever the ranking, you should get on this, it's good grub!

Grange Hotel, Grange 31st Oct 2009 - PASS (barely)

When you live in Grange, you realise one indomitable fact very early on - There are no restaurants.

That may not be technically true, but it is pretty close. What you do have in Grange is pubs, although there are too few of those as well. One such pub is the Grange Hotel, which stands proudly on the seafront, overlooking the Grange Jetty. The hotel has done itself up over the past few years, and with this make-over came a very crucial change - a pricier menu.

Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty decent menu with lots of variety, but we're here to critique schnitta ala parmigiana. It was a busy night, so when the schnitty came out, I was surprised at how well it presented. On closer inspection, I saw it was a victim of the same errors that had befouled my meal at the Brauhaus a week earlier - It was slightly burnt.

Did it affect the taste? Aye, it twas so. The sauce was fine and so was the cheese, but you could get past that textural crunch, and slighly overcooked interior. Given my disappoint, you know there was only to be one saving grace for this overcooked chook - the chips.

Once again (disappointingly), the chips had to step in and save the day, which these did with aplomb. Crispy and well-cut, they rescued the meal from the brink of ignomy (okay that's overstating it a little). Besides that the staff we're very friendly and the atmosphere was okay.

I'm a little worried about the state of the Schnitzel nation at present. Here's hoping my next outing serves up something a little more special.

Brauhaus Hotel, Angaston 17/10/09 - FAIL

The Brauhaus Hotel is a local pub in Angaston, a small town nestled in amongst the Wine country that is the Barossa Valley. Now, when I think country pub, I think of the kindly owners that own the pub, who put their heart and soul into every meal they dish out. The owners of the Brauhaus obviously didn't get that memo.

The schnitzel came out, and right away I noticed problems. Every visible edge on the schnitty was burnt, not browned, burnt. Luckily the sauce covered 70% of it, I shudder to think what it looked like underneath.
Now, at this point, even before I've begun to tuck in, I'm looking at the chips. Remember how I said that some great chips could save a dodgy schnitzel? Well, that was not going to be the case here, as the chips were soggier than i've ever seen.
Now I had to hope the schnitzel was better than it looked.
Unfortunately the chicken fillet was a little overcooked, thanks to the bronzing on the outside, which then left the sauce. They tried something a little unique with the sauce, which I did appreciate, which was to add capsicum.
However, the overpowering taste of the capsicum took away from the parmi sauce, which left me a very disappointed man.

I really thought leaving the city would be an awesome experience, and I'd be dazzled by the heart and love invested in the country fare, but I was sorely mistaken.

At this stage, it's back to the Duke for me.
Til next time...

Coopers AleHouse, Pulteney St, Adelaide 29/8 - PASS

The Alehouse is ostensibly a classier, more classic sports bar in that you don't go there to pick up women (If you have, good for you). I was there for a bucks night dinner on Saturday night, and my preparation could not have been worse.
I had had Schnitzels the two days previous, and then topped that off by filling up at a bbq earlier in that day. So my stomach wasn't on top of it's game, and anyone who has eaten a schnitty at the Alehouse will tell you, you better have your game-gut on.
The schnitty came out, and what I noticed straight away, as you always do here, is the size. However, if look past that and you notice the texture. It's a little drier than your top-notch schnitzels, and a little thinner.
Lift it up and you'll find some soggy chips. Nevermind, you won't be needing those.
The taste is fine and the parmigiana sauce and cheese is too, so eating it is not as bad as I would have you believe.
Again, I must stress, I did not bring my A-game to the table, and thus you cannot take this review as gospel (maybe take it as a proverb).
But I must give a rating and the rating is a PASS. The FAIL goes to me, for failing to finish.
If you're looking for a challenge and you want the taste to be half decent, this is your place. Although, make sure you have some biccie's in your backburner, because these babies set you back $18 a pop.
As for me, I'll be back, I just have to wait for this one to digest.

The Highway Inn, Anzac Highway 22/8/09 - PASS

It doesn't take much to impress the King. I must make full disclosure here, I was dying for food when I got to the Highway at 3:30 in the afternoon.
When I took a cursory glance at the menu, something stood out. 'Herb encrusted' I think it was. I was intriuged.
My schnitty came out fast, but considering we were the only ones eating, I was not surprised. At first glance, I was a little disappointed. The size was fine, and the package was as advertised, but for the second schnit in a row, it was a little burnt!
Do I have to say it? Don't burn the schnit!
But then I tasted it. The herb hit me like a freight train. Combined with a delicious sauce it was almost overpowering. Actually, it did get overpowering, which was helped along by an overabundance of chicken salt on the chips! Never mind.
The schnitzel tasted great, even allowing for my hunger, until I got to the burnt bit.
The last third was a bit of a struggle, from the herb overdose to the dry texture of burnt portion. It was a bit of sad finish to a proud schnitty. This one gets over the line by the barest of margins, due to the originality and impact of the 'Herbs', and, you guessed it, some crunch time chips!
Will have to try this one again on a readier stomach.

The Griffin's Head, Adelaide 20/8/09 PASS (barely)

The 'Griff' was an old haunt of mine circa 2003-04, and I haven't been back much since. However, I was tempted back when my partner said she was having after class schnitty's there with her dance students. I was in.
It was indeed 'Schnitzel night', which at $10 suited both us and the younger guys to the ground. So what did we get for our $10?
It was the standard package. White plate, small white bowl on the side filled with salad, chips and schnitty on top.
The schnitty was fine. It tasted fine, but it wasn't great and here's why. The first thing you notice is that some of the edges are burnt, and whilst this doesn't always affect the texture (although it often does), it certainly doesn't look great.
The chicken texture was good, cooked well and slightly chewy, but the chicken was premium grade stuff. Upon closer inspection, it looked a little processed.
The batter as I said was a little burnt, but on the whole it was okay, as was the cheese and ham.
The chips were a bit soggy, which was a little disappointing. Chips can almost salvage a bad schnitty, it pays to take care.
Overall, just below average. Again, I must stress, that when value for money is taken into account, you could do worse than come here on a Thursday. They've got work to do, but at that price they mightn't have to do it.

Morphett Arms Hotel - FAIL

Disclaimer: I was warned. My friend went to the Arms a couple of weeks before I went there. I inquired about the food, and before I finished my sentence he was telling me how bad it was. It was the worst schnitzel he'd ever had, hands down. Now, that's a pretty big statement, because there's a lot of shitty schnitty's out there, and a statement like that can only mean one thing.

I would have to try one.

I was there for a mate's birthday, with lots of drinking, so I figured even if it tasted worse than i expected, I could always wash it down with some frosty brews.

The thing came out. Now, straight away I could tell that they'd slapped a couple of Kraft singles on top. Hell, they barely even melted the cheese. Well, not a good start, but here we go.

The sauce was non-existent, which meant that I could really taste that unmelted cheese, and it also meant that nothing was hiding the taste of the overcooked, overprocessed piece of chicken that they tried to pass off as Australia's favourite pub meal.

The chips were fine, but the less said about the schnitzel the better. This is a monumental fail no doubt, but even after eating this atrocity, I do believe there is still a worse tasting schnitty out there. God hope I never find it. For now, the bar has been dropped very low. Two fries out of Ten.

The Duke of York Hotel - PASS

Full disclosure time. I work across the road from The Duke, so I'm there a fair bit.
One of the things I like about the place is the food, and in eyes that means schnitty's.

I went for the Tuesday lunchtime feed with a few bro's. They have a lunch special, which is $8 schnitty with any drink, although my mate didn't read the bit about the drink and got shitty with the staff about it. Slightly embarrassing.

Back to the important stuff. The schnitty was a good size, not great, but you're not disappointed with it, let me assure you, especially at that price. The taste was pretty good, they cook it well, not over or under-cooked.

The parmy sauce was pretty good also, with decent consistency of both sauce and cheese. The chips weren't plentiful, but they were substantial, but they were a little overcooked and on the mature side. I suspect they're not from the hippest of potatoes.

However, the main attraction was the schnitty, and for the price and quality, there's not too many places in the city that can match it.

It's a pass from me.

Liquid Expresso, May 26th 2009 - FAIL

At this point, there are 3 ways a schnitzel could go.
1) You could ace it.
2) You could stuff up the chicken.
3) You could stuff up the sauce.

Liquid Espresso gave me a great piece of chicken. It was thick, cooked well and the batter was crisp. I wish I could say the same for the sauce.
Sauces are either going to be full of flavour, or bland. This baby was bland, which was a real shame, because the chicken set it up so well.

As much as I want to, I can't reccomend the Schnitzel parmi here, although the chips I have to say, we're done very well.

Shop 1 / 181-183 Grange Road

Findon, 5023

Dog & Duck Inn, Hindley street, Adelaide

The Dog and Duck was refurbished about a year or so ago. I had a schnitzel on their opening night, and it was fantastic. However, I went back for lunch earlier this year, and was bitterly disappointed in the disparity between my first schnitty and the one they served that day. It was terrible.

I went again last friday and was similarly disappointed. For $15, the size was quite disappointing and the schnitzel itself was slightly overcooked. There was not enough parma sauce, even though what there was of it was decent enough.

To top it off, I only got about a dozen chips. That's right, I counted and there were a d0zen, and we're not talking wedges here, they were thinly sliced chips.

That's twice I've been disappointed after a great start by the Dog and Duck. Unfortunately, the Schnitzel King can't recommend this venue to any self-respecting Schnitzel afficionado.

See you next time.

Mawson Lakes Hotel - Mothers Day Schnitzel

Welcome to the Schnitzel King. I'll be guiding you to various culinary destinations around Adelaide, South Australia in search of the best schnitzel in the state. My goal is to raise schnitzel awareness amongst those overseas, whilst directing locals to the best spots to eat the beloved schnitzel.

My first stop was the Mawson Lakes Hotel, at Mawson Lakes. It is about 15 minutes drive north of the CBD (turn left off Salisbury Highway at the Mawson Lakes sign). I've been there before, so I had a fair Idea of what to expect.

They serve what they call a Mega-Schnitzel, and I admit, it is pretty big. But it is not Mega. I have seen Mega, and I will be showing you Mega in the coming weeks, but this was not it. This was however, a delicious schnitzel parmigiana, with a very thick juicy fillet of chicken, nice sauce and healthy helping of melted cheese. The chips too were on the chunky side, and gave me a few tense moments toward the end of the meal, but they were shortlived. I brushed off this delicious piece of fillet and had room for dessert.

You can purchase the Mega Schnitzel for $22.50.